Category Archive: Taunting the Tiger

Democrats are scum (but we knew that).

Do these people think that they are immune from the consequences of their idiocy?

Virginia Democrat Offers Reward For Nude Photos of Big Game Hunting Texas Tech Cheerleader Kendall Jones…

I noted on Facebook that I wished I were Ms. Jones's father.  Because Mr. Dick, er, Dickinson would be a dead man walking if I were.

To be honest, I'm kind of surprised that Dick, er, Dickinson would actually threaten to do something like this to a woman who, if she became irate with him, could probably put an arrow through him at a hundred yards and then gut him like the pig he is.

So, since he probably won't end up qualifying for a Darwin Award (because folks like the Joneses are probably far too polite to beat the life out of him as he so richly deserves), Mr. Mike "Little" Dick, er, Dickinson, receives the Tiger Taunting Award today for his inability to understand exactly when it's wiser to just keep your damn piehole shut.

 

You know, I’m really a very nice person

It’s just that most of the rest of the world seems to want to piss me off most of the time.

For instance, when you decide to buy something you need online from a new-to-you retailer — and by doing so you are automagically signed up for their thrice-daily email bulletins.*

Son of a bitch.

Yeah, I get that it’s not technically spam; I have a business relationship with you.  But it IS spam — because it is unwanted, unasked-for, and unexpected.  (Well, the last, these days, is hyperbole — of course I expect it.)

I receive literally hundreds of emails every day on half a dozen accounts.  One is my work account, that very nearly predates the Green Card Spam, and of course is on every CD of “millions of verified email addresses!” that Eastern European mobs sell to unscrupulous e-mail marketers.

I don’t NEED more email.  And certainly not unwanted email in French and Spanish, which seems to be most of the crap I dump out of my work account every day.  (Plus I had to simply block anything coming from a .RU TLD.)  For instance, my inbox folder in my Unread Mail this morning contains 30 items, 27 of which are spam.  Holee shite.  And it stays like that ALL FREAKING DAY.

So most of it goes right into the bit bucket without even being opened.  Which costs the mailer nothing and costs me time, effort, sanity, and hair.  And people wonder why I’m bald.

______________

* I may be exaggerating.  But not by much.  Never buy anything from a certain online fine china replacement/fill-in service unless you want daily emails regarding what they have in stock.  How the fuck often do their customers break shit, anyway?  All I needed was four bowls to fill in our wedding china that we never completed…jeebus.

Human nature being what it is

this story doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.

How does that old saw go?  “For every good-looking woman out there, there is someone at home who is sick of her shit.”  (Undoubtedly applies to men as well.)

Perzactly.

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Shamelessly stolen from Facebook.

What a fucking idiot.

Man jumps off zoo train to be one with tiger

Lucky he wasn’t the tiger’s hors d’oeuvre, or dessert depending on time of day I guess.

Glad to see this, though:  “The tiger did nothing wrong.”  Damn straight.  The tiger did what tigers do.  Don’t trifle with territorial tigers.

New American idiom

We were out with friends last night, and we believe we’ve come up with a new addition to American idiom.
“Taunting the tiger” == “playing with fire” == “f*cking about with that with which man is not meant to meddle”.
E.g., the following:

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – A survivor of last month’s tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo told the father of a teen-ager killed in the incident that they waved and yelled at the animal just before it struck, a newspaper reported on Friday.
Paul Dhaliwal, 19, said he, his brother Kulbir, 23, and friend Carlos Sousa, 17, stood atop a railing in front of the tiger exhibit while taunting the animal, the San Francisco Chronicle said, citing a police document filed in court.

Not funny for them, of course. But perhaps they’ll get a Darwin Award out of it.
Maybe I’m just taunting the tiger myself. But I am making it a new category here.