Announcing my last-minute, write-in candidacy

Feel free to write me in for mayor of Indianapolis.

I pledge to remove all bike lanes, cancel the Red and Blue Lines, and stop corporate welfare for sportsball teams. Otherwise I plan to sit on my butt on the 25th floor of the City-County Building for four years, drive my own car to work and carry a sack lunch at my own expense every day, and ruthlessly leave the citizenry alone.

Oh, and potholes will be fixed.  Scooters and Blue Indy rental cars will be outlawed.

Also, this town needs a good $5 cigar and a good $20 bottle of Kentucky Bourbon. Let’s work together on that.

1 comment

  1. Joe

    yesterday was the first time I saw an ad for any mayoral candidate not Joe Hoggsett.

    I did not even know who was running!

    That republican Council member who did the Joe Hoggsett ads should be booted from the party.

Comments have been disabled.