Dear JPMorgan Chase Bank:

I hate, hate, hate your new “responsive web design” banking website.  It is absolutely teh sux0r.  It does not open properly in anything but Internet Explorer (which annoys me, because I’ve been using Firefox almost exclusively lately).  It is slow as a pig in molasses.  Ergonomically it has far too much white space, meaning I have to page up and down a lot more than I did on your old site, and also far too much Ajax/Javascript display-on-demand crap, particularly in the bill pay section.  The layout is marginal and the fonts are too light.  And did I mention, far too much white space?

The bill pay section itself is an absolute disaster.  The page moves too much when you click on a bill to pay, and it moves too slowly (takes too long to figure out that you clicked on that bill), and again, there is far too much white space.  There’s not enough contrast between the background and the foreground, too, which combined with all that damn white space makes it hard to tell what text belongs to which bill.

The old site worked.  There was no reason, other than typical “keep up with the Joneses” Marketing bullshit, to update it to its present nearly unusable state.

Oh, and where the fuck is my chip debit card, you fuckers?  My wife already has hers.

ETA:  Paypal has the same problem. Their old site is MUCH more usable than the new one.

One Reply to “Dear JPMorgan Chase Bank:”

  1. Yeah, pretty much.

    It at least seems to function properly in Safari, but I’ve pretty much had it with needless site makeovers purely for the sake of giving the web design crew something to do with their time.

    Fortunately in the Mac universe, the ceaseless Java updates have not become a daily occurrence the way they are on Alice’s laptop. Every day we both thank God that she never allowed her office machine to even connect to the web at all. It’s run flawlessly for the five years since she bought it, without a single error, blue screen, or unexplained restart. Which is just again proof that the web will kill us all.

    And you are the only one that doesn’t have their Chase chip card. Sorry, dude.

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