I generally hate memes, but

this one I found at Hoosier Boy’s is kind of intriguing.
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Sort of. My paternal grandmother’s father was named Charles, which is my middle name.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Today. Never mind why. Music was involved, as it often is. It was once said that Russians could be summed up emotionally by their ability to one moment be crying their eyes out at a performance of Boris Godunov, and the next moment ordering the execution of political prisoners. Being part Russian, this has some resonance for me.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
My cursive sucks. My printing is fabulous unless I’m in a hurry; the legacy of years of drafting the old-fashioned way.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Bologna. No. Corned beef. But the corned beef has to be just so; Shapiro’s in Indy and 3 G’s Deli in Delray Beach, for instance. Slap that on some good fresh Jewish rye and I’m a happy boy.
DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Fuck no.
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I agree with Hoosier Boy…stupid question.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
<sarcasm>No.</sarcasm>
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No. They were removed the week John F. Kennedy was shot, of all times.
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Fuck no. I don’t even like commercial jet travel. Why the hell would I attach myself to a rubber band and jump off a bridge?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Frosted Flakes, when I eat cereal (maybe twice a year).
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
It depends. Most of the time I wear sandals. I always untie dress shoes when I take them off.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Not anymore. I used to be able to pick up a 40-gallon water heater and set it into position. Today I’m lucky to pick up a Newcastle or a couple of fingers of Maker’s Mark. Getting old sucks.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint chocolate chip.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether or not they are annoying.
RED OR PINK?
Red, without a doubt. Bring it, blue staters.
WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
How much of a bastard I come off as in public most of the time, unless I’m at a Masonic event or in a religious institution. Part of this is due to my complete inability to remember names (unless I make a major point to remember them, which usually requires seeing them in print multiple times, which is probably the only reason I can remember all the names of my lodge brothers) and make small talk. I’m told marriage has started to take off the rough edges, though.
WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My father.
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Khaki pants, black crocs, no socks.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Breakfast.
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The soundtrack to Wicked. Specifically, “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished”.
IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Shit, I’d be the box that melted in the sun.
FAVORITE SMELLS?
Beef, pork, or chicken cookin’.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My wife. Yesterday.
FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Baseball, basketball. Football bores me anymore. LaCrosse seems interesting, in a beat the shit out of people with hockey sticks while running up and down a field chasing a ball kind of way.
HAIR COLOR?
What hair?
EYE COLOR?
Hazel.
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. I wear glasses with correction for myopia and astigmatism. I hate progressive lenses, but that’s what I have.
FAVORITE FOOD?
HB said “Beef and noodles with mashed potatoes”. I cannot in conscience disagree, but I would add “or Pizza.”
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
All the way through? Must have been Real Genius about a month ago.
WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Faded navy blue Pacers golf shirt.
SUMMER OR WINTER?
That couple of weeks in the spring when it’s actually comfortable and the trees are starting to leaf out.
HUGS OR KISSES?
Yes. But only from certain people.
FAVORITE DESSERT?
Chocolate mousse cheesecake at Ruth’s Chris.
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
As usual I have several open at once. The Nutmeg of Consolation, by Patrick O’Brian; To Rule the Waves: How the British Navy Shaped the Modern World, by Arthur Herman; Nomonhan: Japan Against Russia, 1939, by Alvin Coox; The River of Doubt: Theodore Roosevelt’s Darkest Journey, by Candice Millard.
WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
The old IUPUI “campusscape” logo…and boy, does that mouse pad need to be retired.
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
What is this “T.V.” of which you speak?
FAVORITE SOUND?
White noise, or water running over rocks.
ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Mahler.
WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
San Diego.
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Vitriol.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Coleman Women’s Hospital, Indianapolis. Which is now Coleman Hall at IUPUI.