And as long as we’re being controversial

World Cup Soccer.
First of all, soccer should be banned in the United States as being unpatriotic and unmanly. (Let alone that girls play it too. That’s not my point.) It is a stupid game wherein two teams run back and forth for, what is it, 90 minutes?, kicking and heading a round ball with the idea that eventually a couple of goals will be scored. Whoopdeedoo, a match may end 1-0. Even baseball has more excitement, if only in spurts. Americans want one team (preferably the one they’re rooting for) to dominate and kick the shit out of the other team, and then for both teams to go out like sportsmen. Soccer is BORING.
Secondly, “World” Cup. Everybody knows that if you really want to do something with “World” in the name, like “World Series” or “World Championship”, both teams need to be from the United States. Because nobody else does it the way we do it. We have so many world-class sports that you have to have subscriptions to special magazines and newspapers just to keep up on them. We have at least one sport (baseball) that is so complicated that you damn near need a Ph.D. to follow it. And even golf is more interesting than soccer, because normally THE FUCKING BALL GETS INTO THE HOLE AT LEAST 18 TIMES PER PLAYER PER MATCH.
And I’m only half kidding. Soccer should be banned in America. Get the kids back to playing baseball and football and basketball. And golf. And maybe even lacrosse, even though it has a frog name; at least it’s based on a Native American sport, and the original point of it was to toughen up warriors.
Have I made it clear that I hate soccer?
Thank you for allowing me to rant. Of course, it’s my blog, so fuck you if you don’t like it.