I think Rummy should walk up to the table, take the oath, offer his prepared apologies and explanations and then, at the end of his remarks, he should take out a long Japanese knife. He should then cut off his pinky. If this Yakuza style contrition doesn’t work he should look to the ranking Democrat on the committee and continue removing fingers until he gets a Shogun-like nod that his offering is acceptable. He should then wrap-up up his hand, curtly bow, and then say “I am now pleased to take your questions.”
What frightens me is that this might be one of the 1000 Fighting Styles of Rumsfeld…and he needs all of his fingers for all the pies we have right now.