Dumbest. Crook. Ever.

“I picked up the saucepan and smacked him right on the head,” she said. “He looked at me and said, ‘Lady, why did you do that?’ And I hit him again.”

You go, girl!
Over at Rachel’s place, one of the commenters suggested that she might have answered, “Because I don’t have a 12-gauge handy, scumbag.”
Story here, follow-up story here.