30 topics meme

Via Alli. My opinions on 30 raging topics.
1. Abortion: Abortion is murder. Against, except in the case of rape, and even then I wonder.
2. Homosexuality: I don’t care what lifestyle you choose, just be secure enough in your choice that you don’t feel the need to slam it in my face with gay pride parades and other “look at me, I’m gay” behavior.
3. Gay marriage: Against it. Marriage is supposed to be a sacrament that is entered into for the purpose of having and raising children in a nurturing environment. To me a nurturing environment includes a mother and a father.
It’s hard, however, to argue against same-sex marriage given that the government regulates marriage. If there were no such thing as a marriage license, and all marriages were performed and sanctioned by religious authorities, it would be easier to make the argument that marriage should be reserved for heterosexual couples.
The main problem I have with gay marriage is that it swings the door wide for polygamous unions as well. To claim otherwise is, I think, akin to whistling in the dark. And I do not think polygamous unions are healthy, regardless of how much Heinlein I inhaled in my youth.
4. Interracial relationships: I’m 46, and I come from an age where they were rare. It still jars me to see them, but if you love each other, it’s your decision. Be aware that there are cultural divides that may be unbridgeable (this is why I eventually married a Jew after years of dating Christians). Thankfully there are fewer and fewer race bigots these days.
5. Poverty: As P. J. O’Rourke famously observed, you can’t cure poverty by giving people money. This teaching was amplified recently by the result of giving debit cards to Katrina refugees.
6. AIDS: What can be said about a disease that spreads primarily due to idiotic sexual behavior? The only other reason it spreads among the hetero population is contamination of the blood supply. Staying faithful will typically inoculate you, barring some sort of accident.
7. Abstinence: Makes the heart grow fonder.
8. Police brutality. There are times I wonder what the fuck people are talking about when they say this. Bad cops need to be disciplined and removed from the service. But at the same time, sometimes you just have to beat the shit out of someone to keep them down. Does it beat shooting someone if you can subdue them with a beating? Probably. Just don’t kill them in the process.
9. FBI: What do you want me to say? Somebody has to investigate federal crimes. Hoover’s gone, the agency has more oversight than it used to. I’m more concened about the ATF. Those fuckers are like the military when they decide to make a home visit.
10. CIA: Deep six the existing fuckers and start a new intelligence agency. And split analysis off from the operations directorate. Don’t try to do two things at once.
11. Obesity: It’s your own damn fault. Go on a diet and exercise.
12. Junk food in schools: So what? See #11.
13. Sharks: Who gives a shit? Kill them all. There is nothing beautiful about a mindless prehistoric eating machine.
14. War in Iraq: Keep kicking the ass we’re kicking. And kill Moqtada al-Sadr immediately.
15. Torture: If that’s what it takes. But avoid if avoidable.
16. Capital punishment: Yes. For murder and rape and child molestation. Back up your case with DNA evidence, and don’t try to railroad someone when there’s reasonable doubt.
17. Backdating stock options. Immoral and unfair to other employees; if not illegal, should be.
18. Israel: All they want is to be left alone. Keep poking sticks at a beehive and the bees will come out and get you every time.
19. Coinslot pants. Huh? Is this the new prostitution wear?
20. TSA: Mineta is gone. Should have happened three years ago. Stop assuming granny is a terrorist and start profiling young Middle-Eastern men.
21. 9/11: Never forget. Never again.
22. High gas prices: Still not as high, in real money, as they were in 1979.
23. Duke Lacrosse Scandal: The prosecutor needs to be hung by his thumbs, and the dancer who made the accusations needs to be taken into a back room for a little talk about the truth.
24. Anti-trust laws: Probably as effective as they ever were, which is to say, not very.
25. Sarbanes-Oxley: Won’t last much longer. Eventually the corporate cry for its repeal will be heard and acted on.
26. Enron: Hurt a lot of people, including their own employees. Shouldn’t have been possible. Frankly, I’m more angry about Arthur Andersen, and happy they went out of business.
27. Ken Lay: See you in hell.
28. Jeff Skilling: See you in hell.
29. Terrorist torture: I assume this means torturing terrorists for information about upcoming terrorist attacks. You do what it takes. See #15.
30. Africa: The continent should be abandoned. And I don’t mean that from a political point of view. I mean, the damn place is so dangerous to humans that humans should be bodily relocated somewhere else and the continent put off-limits. Where have the worst diseases we know originated, after all? AIDS and Ebola came from deepest, darkest Africa. What else is lurking there? I don’t want to know.