UPS, you lie like a rug.

[Updated.  See at bottom.]

So yesterday around noon, I heard BANG BANG BANG DING DONG from the front door.  Not expecting anything, and not having heard a delivery truck pull up, the first thing I did was grab the 1911 and yank the slide back.*  Then I went to the door and opened it.

I guess UPS hires ninjas for Christmastime delivery, because there was no truck and no delivery person anywhere to be seen, and it only took me about 20 seconds to get to the door.

Anyway there was a box on the porch, so I brought it in.  The return address was from DX Engineering in Akron.  I said, “Wow, that’s amazing — I just placed the order yesterday, got free UPS ground shipping, and it’s here already.”  But then I got to thinking…this box is kind of small and doesn’t weigh much if it contains a 6M horizontal loop antenna.  So I opened it and found the four other items I’d ordered along with the antenna, and of course, as surmised, no antenna.

Huh.

So I figured they must have shipped the antenna separately.  The invoice didn’t say, so I got dressed and stuck my head out the door to see if they’d left it next door (UPS sometimes can’t tell the difference between a zero and an eight, so it was worth the trouble).  Nope, nothing next door.  Well, OK, they must have not had room on the truck so it will come Monday.  No big deal, pouring fucking rain so I can’t put it up this weekend anyway.

A little later I got online to DX Engineering’s website and checked the order status.  Yep, it shipped in two boxes.  So I clicked on the link for box “B” and it pulled up the UPS shit:

upsyesterdaynoont.jpgWell, f*ck.  OK, well, I’ll be hearing from DX Engineering, I guess.  Their customer service is supposed to be second to none, at least from what I read on eHam and other places.

So this morning I get online to see if there’s anything new in this regard, check with DX Engineering, click the box “B” link again, and get this:

upslastnight.jpgIsn’t that special.  So really what you wanted was a fucking signature but your driver fat-fingered the fucking tablet.  And…for what it’s worth…he didn’t stick around long enough to GET the fucking signature.

Assholes.  Next time I will specify FedEx.  Or maybe just drive up there to get it myself.

UPDATE: 12/23, 10:51AM:  On a hunch, checked the front porch.  Guess what was there.  The fucker ninja’ed me again — I guess the signature requirement was BS. UPS is still going to get a shitty note.

Written on the box:  “NOT DAMAGED.  RATTLE OK”

Fuckers.

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* A few hours after I published this post, I re-read it and realized that some folks might not be aware that we recently had a spate of home invasions in this neck of the woods.  Better safe than sorry when I don’t know who’s at the door.